Depression

MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS
By Stanley Popovich

Sometime or another we will experience a time when we are alone. The first step is to
become comfortable with yourself and having the self-confidence that you will be able to
manage being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. If being alone bothers
you then seeing a counselor can help you with these issues.
In the meantime, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use so that the fear
of being alone doesn’t become a major issue in their lives.
The first step is to find an activity that you enjoy and where you can meet a lot of
people. For instance, joining a group activity such as a volleyball group, women’s club,
or making crafts can be a great way to meet people. Doing something that you like to do
will make you happy and will increase your chances of making friends.
Spending time with animals can be a great source of companionship. Having a dog or
cat can make us feel loved. If you don’t own a dog or cat, then volunteer at the local
animal shelter. Spending time with an animal or pet can help us to feel better and can
be of good company to all of us whether we are alone or not.
Helping others through community service can be of some help. There are many people
out there who could benefit from your time and talents. Helping others can give you a
source of pride, help you feel better about yourself, and can provide long lasting
friendships. Give it a try and you will be surprised.
Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When
encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those thoughts
by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For
example, some people may think that if they are alone at the present time then they will
always be alone. This is not true. Even if your alone today doesn’t mean that you will be
alone all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy.
It isn’t fun being alone, but sometimes there are worse things. For instance, imagine
that you are married or stuck in a relationship that you can’t get out of and also makes
you miserable. Not only do you have to live with this person, there is no way to get out
of the relationship because of various financial or personal reasons. As a result, you
are stuck living with someone that you can’t stand and makes you depressed every
single day of your life. With this viewpoint, being alone doesn’t sound that bad.
The important thing is to do something constructive. Sitting around and doing nothing
will not make things any better whether it is dealing with the fear of being alone or
something else. Go out and do something that you like to do. In addition, take it one day
at a time and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology,
Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of
techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties.
For additional information go to: www.managingfear.com

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FACING THE FEAR AND ANXIETY OF THE UNKNOWN
By Stanley Popovich

Almost everybody worries about what will happen in the future. The prospect of not
knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a
lot of fear and anxiety. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how
to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown.
Remember is that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty.
Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that
you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your
place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the
last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to
your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the
day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-
nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to
make a world of difference.
Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through
the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us
with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal
with your problems. When the time comes, hopefully you will have learned the skills to
deal with your situation.
Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near
future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance,
you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large
group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself
playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience.
By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when
the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a
coming situation and increase your self-confidence.
Remember take a deep breath and try to find something to do to get your mind off of
you anxieties and stresses. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the
newspaper, watch TV, play on the computer or do an activity that will give them a fresh
perspective on things. This will distract you from your current worries.
A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. All the worrying in the
world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the
best, and when something does happen, take it in stride. If you still have trouble
managing your anxiety of the future, then talking to a counselor or clergyman can be of
great help. There are ways to help manage your fear and all it takes is some effort to
find those answers.

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology,
Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of
techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties.
For additional information go to: www.managingfear.com